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...and I'm not talking about adult-only receptions.
Getting married digs up a lot of questions. You know what I am talking about—when's the big day? How many guests? When are you having kids? What are your colors?
Yeah. They always sneak that kids one in there, don't they? Sneaky sneaky.
Though I personally don't mind the question at all, I do think it's a bit presumptive and the ensuing answer is often complicated. Assuming we do want children, deciding when we want them is a toughie to answer. I've often heard that there is no "right" time to start poppin' out (or adopting) babies, but I do think there are better times than others.
Mr. Seal and I are (very thankfully) in agreement on the wanting kids front. We both want children. Although he'd be happy waiting a decade to start trying, I'm in a pinch more of a hurry (which I'll explain in a moment). We've found a happy medium and agree that we will surely wait until we are stable in our careers and savings before attempting to conceive. Sounds fair, eh?
I've always known I wanted kids but with the more recent presence of my little niece, I've come to realize that I can trust myself as a caregiver. Being among the youngest in my extended family, I didn't babysit often and therefore a small part of me always doubted whether I could be trusted to hold an infant or safely feed a toddler. With a ton more experience under my belt, I now realize that those old fears were a bit irrational - I'll surely make mistakes but I will be a good mom.
Anyway, now let me try and explain why I don't want to wait forever.
Mama Seal had me when she was 36. Has this changed our mother-daughter dynamic any? No. Not in the slightest. In fact, I think I've mentioned quite a few times how close we are so my "rush" has nothing to do with feeling "too old" to parent.
Really this has everything to do with grandparents. I want to afford my children the opportunity to really get to know my parents and Mr. Seal's mama as they are such important figures in our lives. I never got to meet my maternal grandparents, and as I've mentioned before, not knowing them has been strange for me - like I missed out on something really important.
The same reasoning holds true for our parents. I want them to be able to watch their grandkids grow up...and waiting ten years would significantly cut that time.
Anyway, I know I've tapped into a pretty personal subject, but for those willing to share, I'm interested in your thoughts on children. Are you and your SO planning on raising any kids? If so, have you discussed how long you'd, ideally, like to wait until tossing little ones into the equation?
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Baby Talk: Kids or No Kids?
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3 Comments:
I told Tyler I wanted to wait five years. I had these plans, paying off the car, paying off student loans, having a certain amount of money saved. It's funny the way God sees your plans, and changes them for you. We found out we were pregnant in January, and we just had Brandon last week. This is a whole year ahead of my schedule, but I couldn't imagine my life any different. No, we haven't paid off the car, or student loans, and we don't have the amount of money saved I would like, but we are happy, and he will have everything he needs! It's great to plan when you want to have kids, but if you are going to wait until you are financially ready, then you may be waiting forever. :)
I never wanted kids. That is, I never wanted kids until I met "shark man: destroyer of seals" (is that right? I can't remember). Somehow over the years watching him with the kids at the Easter picnic, or even now with the munchkin has managed to change my mind.
That being said, there are complications, I'm pretty sure we've talked about the health related issues and stuff. Really my only requirements for having kids are a)I'm healthy enough and b)I'm through with school.
Its absolutely up to you guys when you start trying. I feel your frustration with the kids questions from family members. I feel the same way whenever someone asks when we're getting married. Its not something that you have to have a plan for just yet.
After all that though, I'm all kinds of excited for when you do have babies. Those kids are going to be so ridiculously adorable.
i remember getting some good advice from mama. she said you will never make enough money, have enough debt paid off, or have done enough things beforehand to make it the perfect condition for having kids. we got pregnant 6 months after getting married and sometimes i wish we waited a little bit longer, but obviously god's plan was perfect for us. we both knew we wanted kids right away. plus, there is nothing more sexy, and nothing that makes you fall in love more with your husband, than to watch him be a daddy to your baby. *sigh* especially when he's an awesome daddy like i know shaun will be someday! and like i always say to my friends wondering if they should have another, you'll both know when its time. :)
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