Lessons in Wedding Planning: Saying 'No' is Hard to Do

I am a people-pleaser by nature. Knowing I've hurt someone's feelings or let someone down are thoughts that way heavily on my conscience - it's a bit of a curse. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate that I value others' feelings, but at the same time it's pretty frustrating to have to regularly force myself to consider my feelings too.

Planning a wedding has really encouraged me to reckon with my inherent need to please because, duh, it's absolutely impossible to please everyone...particularly when planning a wedding. And here is a word of caution to all of my fellow wedding plannin', people pleasin' frenz:

There is no way around it. Whether it's your friend Lisa who is hurt because she didn't make the bridesmaid cut or your Uncle Steve pissed off that you aren't inviting his newest wife's favorite niece - IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN. It's better to first accept that you aren't going to please everyone and prepare to go from there.

I could issue you all the standard advice of: "It's your day! Do whatever the heck you want!", but life is a bit more complex than that. At some point you will have to decide which battles are worth fighting and which ones are better off forfeited.

Let me give you a couple of examples.

Scenario 1: Your Aunt Betty is donating to your wedding fund and offers up her ruby bracelet for you to wear on the big day. You sense that this would mean a lot to her but it won't quite coordinate with your already-selected jewelry. Decline the offer or happily oblige?

Scenario 2: For budgeting purposes, your guestlist has been trimmed and you've taken a firm stance on the plus ones - limiting them to long-term significant others. Your close single friend John, however, thinks he should be able to bring whoever he'd like and outright asks to do so. What do you do?

I'd personally choose to acquiesce to sweet Aunt Betty and wear the bracelet but stick to my guns with John the serial dater and decline the add-on. 

Honestly, hive, there are no standardized right or wrong answers because every situation is different - just know that questions like these are hiding in and around nearly every wedding-related decision and you'll have to field them accordingly. I think I was ill-prepared for these tough decisions and let them blindside me a bit at first. Coming from an eager-to-please mindset, while I'd love to say yes to everyone, I've finally come to accept that I will inevitably ruffle some feathers with a few no's .

As my Nana used to say, "Say 'yes' as often as possible, and when you say 'no'...really mean it." Oh, and when you tick someone off along the way...vent to the hive.

Gimme your five! Who have you let down in planning your wedding? How do you tackle the tough decisions?